(Updated 11:50 p.m.) Seven people, including two children and a pregnant woman, were killed when a man who was believed to be under the influence of drugs and alcohol went on a shooting rampage in Kawit town in Cavite province early Friday, local police said. Eleven people were also wounded in the massacre at Barangay Tabon 1, according to Cavite provincial police deputy director for administration Senior Superintendent Dionisio Borromeo. The gunman, Ronald Bae, was killed by responding policemen, …
A Tulsa mother has filed a lawsuit against Tulsa Public Schools and Twitter.
The lawsuit claims embarrassing locker room pictures were taken of a high school girl and then posted online. It says the picture of the girl in her underwear was tweeted and TPS and Twitter didn’t do enough to prevent it and keep it from being re-tweeted.
The case brings more attention to the growing problem of cyberbullying.
The lawsuit says a Booker T. Washington basketball player was restrained in a locker room in November, while other students took a picture of her in her underwear.
It says the picture was posted on Twitter and then re-tweeted, causing it to be seen by the majority of the schools’ student body, which led to significant emotional trauma and embarrassment.
1/2/2013 Related Story: Mother Suing TPS, Twitter Over Pictures Of Daughter Posted Online
“I think that’s an issue Twitter is going to have to face, along with other social networking sites—are going to have to face as things go on,” said Cheryl Lawson.
Lawson, founder of Social Media Tulsa, a group that meets monthly, is following reports of the lawsuit filed against TPS and Twitter.
She says it could bring more awareness to the issue of cyberbullying.
“I’m not sure that suing Twitter is going to get or do anything other than recognition of this issue,” Lawson said.
The lawsuit says school leaders failed to act, and that Twitter failed to reasonably monitor and remove the photograph, which led to bullying and taunting.
The suit asks for in excess of $75,000 in damages.
TPS isn’t commenting.
Lawson says, on the whole, social media is used in a positive way, but should be used carefully.
“You’ve gone beyond joke, fun, prank to you’re really offending somebody or embarrassing them to the point where they’re scarred, so think about your actions,” Lawson said.
Lawson said the case is a good reminder for parents to monitor what their children are seeing on social media sites.
“If it starts to get out of bounds or you are not comfortable with it, then you need to sit down and talk to your kids,” Lawson said.
And Lawson said people should immediately report or flag abuse or anything objectionable, as soon as possible.
“At some point, we as a community have to say enough is enough,” Lawson said.
The parents of the teens in the lawsuit are also being sued.
The lawsuit says they’re liable, because they should have adequately supervised their children and should have known their children were careless, reckless and incompetent in using their cell phones.
DOVER, Del. (AP)- Delaware education officials are putting the final touches on regulations aimed at prohibiting cyberbullying.
The regulations were first proposed in October. Officials are now accepting written comments through Feb. 5 on revisions regarding the definition of cyberbullying that were made in response to earlier comments.
The regulations define cyberbullying as electronic communication directed at an identifiable student or group of students that interferes with a student’s physical well-being, is threatening or intimidating, or is likely to limit a student’s ability to participate in or benefit from educational programs.
Communications will be considered directed at an identifiable student or group if posted in a medium likely to be available to a broad audience within the school community, regardless of privacy settings. That includes postings on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, YouTube, and Pinterest.
ARVADA, Colo. — Police are investigating a case of cyberbullying on the social network Instagram. The targets are students in the Jefferson County school district.
According to police, someone posted pictures of six people along with abusive messages about the people on Instagram.
Instagram is an online photo-sharing service that allows users to take a picture and easily share it on popular social networks, including its own.
Jefferson County schools spokeswoman Melissa Reeves says the district is cooperating with the Arvada police investigation. She also says the district takes allegations of bullying behavior seriously.
Investigators would not identify the school or schools involved in the cyber bullying case.
Police point out that suspects could be charged with a felony in a case like this, resulting in the possibility of prison time and thousands of dollars in fines.
Cyberbullying. Image courtesy: University of Alabama
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ARVADA, Colo. — Police are investigating a case of cyberbullying on the social network Instagram. The targets are students in the Jefferson County school district.
According to police, someone posted pictures of six people along with abusive messages about the people on Instagram.
Instagram is an online photo-sharing service that allows users to take a picture and easily share it on popular social networks, including its own.
Jefferson County schools spokeswoman Melissa Reeves says the district is cooperating with the Arvada police investigation. She also says the district takes allegations of bullying behavior seriously.
Investigators would not identify the school or schools involved in the cyber bullying case.
Police point out that suspects could be charged with a felony in a case like this, resulting in the possibility of prison time and thousands of dollars in fines.
DOVER, Del. (AP)- Delaware education officials are putting the final touches on regulations aimed at prohibiting cyberbullying.
The regulations were first proposed in October. Officials are now accepting written comments through Feb. 5 on revisions regarding the definition of cyberbullying that were made in response to earlier comments.
The regulations define cyberbullying as electronic communication directed at an identifiable student or group of students that interferes with a student’s physical well-being, is threatening or intimidating, or is likely to limit a student’s ability to participate in or benefit from educational programs.
Communications will be considered directed at an identifiable student or group if posted in a medium likely to be available to a broad audience within the school community, regardless of privacy settings. That includes postings on Facebook, Twitter, MySpace, YouTube, and Pinterest.
A 13-year-old boy from Mississauga, Ont., has been charged with mischief after posting a video of two girls fighting on his Facebook page.
Police said the boy was charged because one of the girls in the video was being cyberbullied.
“That caused the victim to basically not be able to use her own Facebook [page] without feeling bullied or stressed,” said Peel Regional Police spokesperson Const. Erin Cooper.
Schools and police forces across the country are being extra-sensitive to accusations of cyberbullying in the wake of some recent incidents, including the death of 15-year-old Amanda Todd of Port Coquitlam, B.C.
Todd committed suicide in October after being blackmailed, bullied online, and physically assaulted.
“Cyberbullying is definitely something that’s creeping up,” said Cooper.
But the Mississauga boy’s mother told CBC News on Friday that her son is now being bullied by police and the local school board.
The incident that has caused such a furor took place on Dec. 17, when her son recorded a video of the fight which took place off school property — and then later posted it online.
Two days later he was called to the principal’s office where he says he was arrested, handcuffed and put in a police cruiser.
“I started crying because I was so shocked,” the boy said. “And then we walked out the front door to the car, and he put me in handcuffs.”
Police couldn’t contact his mother right away so, he says, he was put in a cell. “I was, like, really scared.”
His mother believes police and the school went too far.
“If they wanted the outcome to be beneficial — or a learning process for all, as a society as a whole — I think they could have managed it in a better way than going to this extreme,” she said.
The boy, who can’t be identified because of his age, was charged with mischief and will appear in court in January.
In the meantime, he has also been suspended from school for a month and will be transferred to another school.
Why is cyberbullying different from bullying done in person? According to stopbullying.gov, cyberbullying can happen anytime day or night every day of the week and can reach someone even if they are alone. The messages and images can be posted anonymously and can be dispersed quickly to many. The source can be difficult to find, and deleting the content after it is sent, can be difficult.
To help parents combat cyberbullying, a website, stopbullying.gov has compiled some suggestions for parents:
• Talk with kids about cyberbullying on a regular basis.
• Parents should familiarize themselves with sites their kids use and what they are doing online. Kids may not understand; therefore, it may be necessary to tell them that as a responsible parent if there is reason for concern, a parent may need to view what they are doing online.
• Use parental control filtering software to help monitor online activity, but do not rely solely on the software to get the job done.
• Get a feel for what kids are doing online and in texts.
• Learn about the different sites kids visit and like.
• Use the devices they have to access websites.
• Know their passwords, but let them know passwords will only be used in case of emergency.
• Ask to “friend” or “follow” the child’s friends or have another trusted adult to do so.
• Encourage kids to tell their parents, a school official, teacher, or a police officer immediately if they, or someone they know, is being cyberbullied.
• Let them know the devices they use to access websites will not be taken away if they confide in an adult about a problem they are having.
• Establish rules about appropriate use of their technology. For example, be clear about what is permitted and what is not when they’re online. Show them how to be safe online and set a good example for them if the parent uses social media.
• Help children to be smart about what they post or say and not to share anything that may hurt or embarrass themselves or others. It is out of their control whether someone else will forward the content once they have it posted.
• Tell kids not to share their passwords with friends. This can compromise control over their accounts.
• Understand school rules and policies about technology use. Online behavior, in class and out, may be affected by school policies.
Stopbullying.gov also offers some advice to help encourage kids to help stop cyberbullying:
• Immediately notify someone of the cyberbullying.
• Do not respond to or forward any messages.
• If a child is a victim, immediately block the person who is cyberbullying.
• Review terms and conditions for websites to understand what is or is not appropriate. Cyberbullying will generally violate the terms that are set up by social media sites and internet service providers and can be reported to them.
• Record the dates, times, and descriptions, and save and print screenshots, emails, and text messages. This evidence can be used to report cyberbullying to websites and cell phone service providers.
• If cyberbullying involves any type of threat, it is considered a crime, and should be reported to a trusted adult and law enforcement.
Schools call it cyberbullying. Police call it criminal harassment. Girls call it drama. The arrest of eight girls accused of bullying a London high school student this fall thrust under a harsh spotlight the world of online bullying, which girls are twice as likely to practice as boys. Reporter Kate Dubinksi examines why young women have become the queens of online cruelty and what can be done to stop it.
ONE GIRL’S STORY
A lot of stuff that goes on online is “girls posting hate,” says Emily, a 14-year-old who goes to a London high school.
The Free Press is protecting her identity at her request.
Her parents do everything right: they monitor her social media sites, know her passwords and have regular conversations about what she and her friends are posting.
That came in handy recently when a girl she didn’t know friended her on Facebook.
“While I was in Cuba she took all my Facebook pictures and made a video of me for YouTube,” Emily said.
“It was a slideshow of all my pictures and it said “I’m a whore,” “I’m a slut,” and it gave my e-mail address. I didn’t even know it.”
Emily’s mom called her from work and told her to go to the principal’s office. She’d been checking Emily’s Facebook account and found the video posted on her wall.
“The girl got talked to by the police,” Emily said. “She was crossing all kinds of lines.”
Other stuff is more subtle. Girls will tell you you’re ugly or fat, Emily said. Most of the time, you have no idea who is saying it.
“I do get hate but I don’t need to listen to it,” she said.
A lot of “drama” starts of Facebook, but a lot more starts on qooh.me, a site that lets users ask each other questions anonymously, Emily said.
“With qooh.me you’re not just hiding behind a computer but also behind anonymous.
“Some people get all sad about it but to me, they’re just opinions. I’m not even going to remember it a couple of months from now so I don’t want to think about it.”
Boys, she said, don’t tend to bully on qooh.me, instead limiting their posts to “pervy” questions.
“Guys don’t worry about their body shape like girls do,” Emily said.
HOW GIRLS BULLY
- Spread rumours
- Social exclusion
- Gossip
- Use terms tied to sex, such as “slut” and “bitch.”
CYBERBULLYING
The use of technology — e-mail, instant messaging, social media or digital images — to bully. Bullying involves an imbalance of power and a repeated intent to cause harm.
FACT: According to American research, a typical girl who bullies is popular, well-liked by adults, does well in school and sometimes is friends with the girls she bullies. She spreads gossip, rumours, excludes others, shares secrets and teases. She usually bullies in a group.
IT’S A FACT
Fear of having technology privileges being taken away is the main reason cited by teens for not reporting bullying to parents.
WHAT IS QOOH.ME?
Started in May, qooh.me lets users ask each other questions anonymously. Unlike Facebook, you don’t need an account to participate, and even if you have an account, you can post on others’ accounts anonymously.
There are no age restrictions and no privacy settings. All you need is an e-mail address to sign up.
The point is to ask others questions, anything from ‘Who are your best friends?’ to ‘What’s your favourite school subject?’
But users can also ask about sexual experiences or simply post insults and gossip on another person’s wall.
And, judging from a quick look at the site, that happens a lot.
Grammar errors notwithstanding, many of the comments teens post to each other can’t be reprinted.
From the Qooh.me website: “Qooh.me is a social site that allows people who find you interesting to ask you anonymous questions so they can know you better. Your replies will appear on your main profile only if you answer the question you get asked. It’s addictive!”
Sample qooh.me comments from London teens’ accounts:
Your a slu*. die.
Virgin?
Go drink bleach.
U r by far the most annoying person ive ever met.
U ever sent nudes?
I reallllllllllly dont like you.
WHAT IS SNAPCHAT?
A photo-sharing app that is growing in popularity, some parents have raised concerns the app will make some of the negatives of sexting disappear.
How it works: Users take a picture or video with Snapchat and send it to whoever they choose. Users set a limit for how long the recipients have to view the photos, up to a maximum of 10 seconds. After that, the photos disappear.
Users also get notified if a friend took a screenshot of a photo they sent.
Some concern has been raised, though — if a picture disappears within 10 seconds, the service could make sexting much more appealing without fear that the image will stick around or be passed around.
THE EXPERTS
- Dr. Robin Kowalski, social psychologist, Clemson University, South Carolina, Author: Cyber Bullying: Bullying in the Digital Age.
- Dr. Claire Crooks, developmental psychologist, associate director of the Canadian Addition and Mental Health Centre for Preventative Science. Assistant professor at the Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children at Western University.
- Maria Luisa Contursi, program director, mindyourmind, a program of Family Service Thames Valley which provides mental health resources to young people.
WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY
About qooh.me:
“Anonymous questions should not be viewed as a valid way for someone to get to know you better. It’s actually a ludicrous suggestion and sending the wrong message to young people,” said Contursi.
“Relationships and connections are built on authentic interactions and actively engaging with others, not hiding behind a keyboard.”
Qooh.me has no mechanism for reporting abuse, Contursi points out.
“Our challenge is to ensure that young people find good information and that we present that in a way that feels relevant and accessible. We’re competing with all sorts of online distractions, including sites like qooh.me.”
About a different way to bully:
Girls are cyberbullied and cyberbully twice as much as boys, American research by Kowalski and colleagues has found.
That finding didn’t surprise the researchers, Kowalski said, because girls tend to bully using indirect aggression. Boys tend to use direct forms of aggression like punching and physical threats.
Girls, in general, are socialized to value relationships, engaging in “relationship play” — pretending to be moms or teachers, for example — more than boys, Crooks said.
Boys tend to play with power hierarchies, Crooks added.
That’s why name-calling, exclusion and rumour-spreading are common ways for girls to bully, she said.
“It’s a much more hurtful way to damage other girls. It’s much more hurtful than being punched.”
That’s what Kowalski’s research found, too.
“The motives of bullying for girls are different. For girls, a lot of it has to do with power. And where does that power come from? For some girls, it’s a way of solidifying friendships. That can sometimes be done by solidifying by exclusion,” Kowalski said.
“I don’t think girls are born doing this.”
About why girls do what they do:
They’re socialized from a young age to establish their place in a social hierarchy, usually through relationships.
When a girl is excluded by her girlfriends, that hurts a lot because her value in a relationship is threatened, Kowalski said.
Online, the hurt can be even worse because about half the time kids don’t know who it is that’s sending the offending messages or pictures, Kowalski’s research found.
That means walking around school not knowing which one of your friends is spreading nasty things about you online, she said.
“We can be anonymous online and you do stuff that you wouldn’t do in public.”
The victim’s reaction is also unseen, so it’s difficult to feel empathy, Kowalski said.
“It’s important to teach girls that they can get self-esteem from other places,” she said.
Boys aren’t immune from cyberbullying, Crooks said.
“Boys do a fair amount of cyberbullying. It’s more damaging for girls because they’re valued so much for their reputations and their relationships,” she said.
About the ultimate weapon – sex:
Sex and reputation are often used as a way for girls to harm each other, Kowalski said.
“It’s still true that for boys, sex will help their reputation,” she said.
Adolescents and teens can’t anticipate the emotional consequences of sexting, and they can’t even begin to think of the legal consequences, Kowalski said.
Teens send about 400 texts a day.
“If you’re going to trash someone’s sexual reputation, the opportunities are endless,” Crooks said.
“Kids don’t understand the permanence of it. They don’t think about the fact that, when they post a naked picture, in 10 years someone will be Googling them when they’ve applied for a job and coming upon that picture.”
Girls get mixed messages: they’re supposed to be sexy, but not promiscuous. Nice on one hand, tough on the other, Crooks said.
“They get dolls that wear thongs. There’s a lot of commercialization and age compression. Girls are told to act sexy, then they get punished for it.”
About what to do:
“We have to teach stuff to our kids that we never experienced,” Kowalski said. “Why not put the kids in the drivers seat. Let them teach you about how to search history on a computer, how to use their apps.”
Kids should be taught early about internet citizenship, Crooks said.
“Parents need to play a bigger role. Parents need to understand that internet use is not a decision, it’s a lifestyle choice,” she said. “Kids need to have better manners online. It’s a combined school, police and parent response. We need parents to be tech-savvy.”
Parents would never drive their 14-year-old into downtown Toronto and drop them off there to fend for themselves, but that’s effectively what happens when parents leave their teens alone online, said Contursi.
“There’s an opportunity for parents to have important discussions with their kids.”
WHAT THE COPS SAY
London police have five secondary school resource officers, each assigned to several Catholic and public high schools. Usually, the officers are at each high school at least one day a week. Here’s some of what they had to say about teen girls and their online activity:
- It’s hard to calculate exactly how much time is spent dealing with cyber problems, but most times when there’s an issue, Facebook, Twitter or qooh.me is involved.
- The sense of anonymity behind a computer screen makes kids feel more free to say things they wouldn’t say to someone’s face.
- Girls complain more about cyber-bullying but boys and girls use it against each other. Boys might not report problems as often.
- Online conflict takes up at least one day a week for one officer.
- Although cyberbullying isn’t exclusive to either gender, the officers say there’s more online conflict, or “drama,” between female students, who hold on to drama for a year or more from the original situation.
- Online incidents are onging and require a lot of follow-up.
ADVICE FROM THE FRONT LINES
- Monitor what your kids do online.
- Friend your kids on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, check their history.
- Ask for cellphones and go through them.
- Know about anonymous posting sites like qooh.me, which are particularly nasty.
Schools call it cyberbullying. Police call it criminal harassment. Girls call it drama. The arrest of eight girls accused of bullying a London high school student this fall thrust under a harsh spotlight the world of online bullying, which girls are twice as likely to practice as boys. Reporter Kate Dubinksi examines why young women have become the queens of online cruelty and what can be done to stop it.
ONE GIRL’S STORY
A lot of stuff that goes on online is “girls posting hate,” says Emily, a 14-year-old who goes to a London high school.
The Free Press is protecting her identity at her request.
Her parents do everything right: they monitor her social media sites, know her passwords and have regular conversations about what she and her friends are posting.
That came in handy recently when a girl she didn’t know friended her on Facebook.
“While I was in Cuba she took all my Facebook pictures and made a video of me for YouTube,” Emily said.
“It was a slideshow of all my pictures and it said “I’m a whore,” “I’m a slut,” and it gave my e-mail address. I didn’t even know it.”
Emily’s mom called her from work and told her to go to the principal’s office. She’d been checking Emily’s Facebook account and found the video posted on her wall.
“The girl got talked to by the police,” Emily said. “She was crossing all kinds of lines.”
Other stuff is more subtle. Girls will tell you you’re ugly or fat, Emily said. Most of the time, you have no idea who is saying it.
“I do get hate but I don’t need to listen to it,” she said.
A lot of “drama” starts of Facebook, but a lot more starts on qooh.me, a site that lets users ask each other questions anonymously, Emily said.
“With qooh.me you’re not just hiding behind a computer but also behind anonymous.
“Some people get all sad about it but to me, they’re just opinions. I’m not even going to remember it a couple of months from now so I don’t want to think about it.”
Boys, she said, don’t tend to bully on qooh.me, instead limiting their posts to “pervy” questions.
“Guys don’t worry about their body shape like girls do,” Emily said.
HOW GIRLS BULLY
- Spread rumours
- Social exclusion
- Gossip
- Use terms tied to sex, such as “slut” and “bitch.”
CYBERBULLYING
The use of technology — e-mail, instant messaging, social media or digital images — to bully. Bullying involves an imbalance of power and a repeated intent to cause harm.
FACT: According to American research, a typical girl who bullies is popular, well-liked by adults, does well in school and sometimes is friends with the girls she bullies. She spreads gossip, rumours, excludes others, shares secrets and teases. She usually bullies in a group.
IT’S A FACT
Fear of having technology privileges being taken away is the main reason cited by teens for not reporting bullying to parents.
WHAT IS QOOH.ME?
Started in May, qooh.me lets users ask each other questions anonymously. Unlike Facebook, you don’t need an account to participate, and even if you have an account, you can post on others’ accounts anonymously.
There are no age restrictions and no privacy settings. All you need is an e-mail address to sign up.
The point is to ask others questions, anything from ‘Who are your best friends?’ to ‘What’s your favourite school subject?’
But users can also ask about sexual experiences or simply post insults and gossip on another person’s wall.
And, judging from a quick look at the site, that happens a lot.
Grammar errors notwithstanding, many of the comments teens post to each other can’t be reprinted.
From the Qooh.me website: “Qooh.me is a social site that allows people who find you interesting to ask you anonymous questions so they can know you better. Your replies will appear on your main profile only if you answer the question you get asked. It’s addictive!”
Sample qooh.me comments from London teens’ accounts:
Your a slu*. die.
Virgin?
Go drink bleach.
U r by far the most annoying person ive ever met.
U ever sent nudes?
I reallllllllllly dont like you.
WHAT IS SNAPCHAT?
A photo-sharing app that is growing in popularity, some parents have raised concerns the app will make some of the negatives of sexting disappear.
How it works: Users take a picture or video with Snapchat and send it to whoever they choose. Users set a limit for how long the recipients have to view the photos, up to a maximum of 10 seconds. After that, the photos disappear.
Users also get notified if a friend took a screenshot of a photo they sent.
Some concern has been raised, though — if a picture disappears within 10 seconds, the service could make sexting much more appealing without fear that the image will stick around or be passed around.
THE EXPERTS
- Dr. Robin Kowalski, social psychologist, Clemson University, South Carolina, Author: Cyber Bullying: Bullying in the Digital Age.
- Dr. Claire Crooks, developmental psychologist, associate director of the Canadian Addition and Mental Health Centre for Preventative Science. Assistant professor at the Centre for Research and Education on Violence Against Women and Children at Western University.
- Maria Luisa Contursi, program director, mindyourmind, a program of Family Service Thames Valley which provides mental health resources to young people.
WHAT THE EXPERTS SAY
About qooh.me:
“Anonymous questions should not be viewed as a valid way for someone to get to know you better. It’s actually a ludicrous suggestion and sending the wrong message to young people,” said Contursi.
“Relationships and connections are built on authentic interactions and actively engaging with others, not hiding behind a keyboard.”
Qooh.me has no mechanism for reporting abuse, Contursi points out.
“Our challenge is to ensure that young people find good information and that we present that in a way that feels relevant and accessible. We’re competing with all sorts of online distractions, including sites like qooh.me.”
About a different way to bully:
Girls are cyberbullied and cyberbully twice as much as boys, American research by Kowalski and colleagues has found.
That finding didn’t surprise the researchers, Kowalski said, because girls tend to bully using indirect aggression. Boys tend to use direct forms of aggression like punching and physical threats.
Girls, in general, are socialized to value relationships, engaging in “relationship play” — pretending to be moms or teachers, for example — more than boys, Crooks said.
Boys tend to play with power hierarchies, Crooks added.
That’s why name-calling, exclusion and rumour-spreading are common ways for girls to bully, she said.
“It’s a much more hurtful way to damage other girls. It’s much more hurtful than being punched.”
That’s what Kowalski’s research found, too.
“The motives of bullying for girls are different. For girls, a lot of it has to do with power. And where does that power come from? For some girls, it’s a way of solidifying friendships. That can sometimes be done by solidifying by exclusion,” Kowalski said.
“I don’t think girls are born doing this.”
About why girls do what they do:
They’re socialized from a young age to establish their place in a social hierarchy, usually through relationships.
When a girl is excluded by her girlfriends, that hurts a lot because her value in a relationship is threatened, Kowalski said.
Online, the hurt can be even worse because about half the time kids don’t know who it is that’s sending the offending messages or pictures, Kowalski’s research found.
That means walking around school not knowing which one of your friends is spreading nasty things about you online, she said.
“We can be anonymous online and you do stuff that you wouldn’t do in public.”
The victim’s reaction is also unseen, so it’s difficult to feel empathy, Kowalski said.
“It’s important to teach girls that they can get self-esteem from other places,” she said.
Boys aren’t immune from cyberbullying, Crooks said.
“Boys do a fair amount of cyberbullying. It’s more damaging for girls because they’re valued so much for their reputations and their relationships,” she said.
About the ultimate weapon – sex:
Sex and reputation are often used as a way for girls to harm each other, Kowalski said.
“It’s still true that for boys, sex will help their reputation,” she said.
Adolescents and teens can’t anticipate the emotional consequences of sexting, and they can’t even begin to think of the legal consequences, Kowalski said.
Teens send about 400 texts a day.
“If you’re going to trash someone’s sexual reputation, the opportunities are endless,” Crooks said.
“Kids don’t understand the permanence of it. They don’t think about the fact that, when they post a naked picture, in 10 years someone will be Googling them when they’ve applied for a job and coming upon that picture.”
Girls get mixed messages: they’re supposed to be sexy, but not promiscuous. Nice on one hand, tough on the other, Crooks said.
“They get dolls that wear thongs. There’s a lot of commercialization and age compression. Girls are told to act sexy, then they get punished for it.”
About what to do:
“We have to teach stuff to our kids that we never experienced,” Kowalski said. “Why not put the kids in the drivers seat. Let them teach you about how to search history on a computer, how to use their apps.”
Kids should be taught early about internet citizenship, Crooks said.
“Parents need to play a bigger role. Parents need to understand that internet use is not a decision, it’s a lifestyle choice,” she said. “Kids need to have better manners online. It’s a combined school, police and parent response. We need parents to be tech-savvy.”
Parents would never drive their 14-year-old into downtown Toronto and drop them off there to fend for themselves, but that’s effectively what happens when parents leave their teens alone online, said Contursi.
“There’s an opportunity for parents to have important discussions with their kids.”
WHAT THE COPS SAY
London police have five secondary school resource officers, each assigned to several Catholic and public high schools. Usually, the officers are at each high school at least one day a week. Here’s some of what they had to say about teen girls and their online activity:
- It’s hard to calculate exactly how much time is spent dealing with cyber problems, but most times when there’s an issue, Facebook, Twitter or qooh.me is involved.
- The sense of anonymity behind a computer screen makes kids feel more free to say things they wouldn’t say to someone’s face.
- Girls complain more about cyber-bullying but boys and girls use it against each other. Boys might not report problems as often.
- Online conflict takes up at least one day a week for one officer.
- Although cyberbullying isn’t exclusive to either gender, the officers say there’s more online conflict, or “drama,” between female students, who hold on to drama for a year or more from the original situation.
- Online incidents are onging and require a lot of follow-up.
ADVICE FROM THE FRONT LINES
- Monitor what your kids do online.
- Friend your kids on Facebook, follow them on Twitter, check their history.
- Ask for cellphones and go through them.
- Know about anonymous posting sites like qooh.me, which are particularly nasty.
TUCSON – A 13-year-old girl attempts to take her own life and her family blames bullying. Cruel words they say she could not escape.
For her privacy, we’re changing her name to “Jennifer.”
“At age 13 we wonder, what on earth causes a girl that innocent to want to take her life?” asks Kristopher Benko, Jennifer’s brother-in-law.
“She tried to take her life as she had taken too many prescription sleeping pills.”
Jennifer survived the overdose but was in the hospital for several weeks. Initially they feared she might suffer long term injuries. Her prognosis looks better now.
Her family says she avoided school because the bullying was so intense. But that didn’t help.
“Today’s technology doesn’t allow you to walk away from an issue anymore,” says Kristopher.
The tormenting continued on Facebook.
“She had stated to the person, that was actively bullying her, that she had had enough. And that she was sorry. And to make everything stop, that she would just take her own life.”
Professor Sheri Bauman is Director of the Counseling and Mental Health Program at the University of Arizona. Bauman has authored several books on bullying. She says when it comes to social media teens feel like everyone is looking at them.
“It’s not just the perpetrator or ones friends who see. But it can be the friends of the friends of the friends. And the sense is that the whole world is aware of my humiliation and how I’m being treated.”
Bauman also says cyber bullying can be much harsher.
“People seem, when they get online, to be able to be willing to say things that they would never say to someone person to person.”
Jennifer’s sister has a message for parents.
“I believe this could happen to anybody. I think some parents will believe, ‘No. No. This won’t happen to my child. I trust them. They’re not that type of person.’ But if you’re not there, in their lives, you’re not communicating with them. You don’t truly know.”
Professor Bauman agrees. You need to be savvy with the latest technology.
Talk to your kids about it and know who they’re interacting with through social media.
Students at Roland Park K-8 Magnet School recently took a pledge and slipped blue bracelets on their wrists to show their commitment to an anti-cyberbullying campaign.
The bracelets bore the message: “Deactivate Cyberbullying.” The pledge was to go for a week without social media. That meant no Facebook, no Twitter, no instant messaging and no texting.
At the end of the week, students wrote essays about their experiences.
The campaign was brought to the magnet school by seven University of Tampa students who are majoring in education: Alex Poirer, Abby Walsh, Allison Zanzinger, Mikey Hupp, Maggie McGowan, Jennifer Buckley and Trevor Joensen. They are part of a fledgling organization, Becoming Engaged Leaders by Inspiring Education Values and Exploration, or B.E.L.I.E.V.E.
Organizers of the new program thought Roland Park’s generally small class sizes — in the sixth through eighth grades — and the school’s mission of promoting respect for cultural diversity and compassion seemed a good fit.
“They focus on character and morals,” said Walsh. “That’s part of their curriculum.”
UT students made 20-minute presentations at the beginning of each class period to spur discussions. A video demonstrated how quickly online conversations can move from friendly to cyber-bullying.
In the video, “Todd” asks “Amy” for a prom date. Though Amy is initially happy, she turns him down when another friend labels Todd a “loser.” The girls join in the name-calling and the hurtful remarks are posted onto Facebook.
“We can bring awareness to them about the consequences of their actions,” said McGowan.
In a second exercise, UT students waved a pair of $20 bills aloft and asked students what they would like to buy with them. Then the students were asked to take a blank piece of paper and write down what they like about themselves.
Now, said Zanzinger, “Someone just sent a mean text about you.” In mock anger, she crumpled up her $20 bill and students joined in by crumpling their papers.
“Open and smooth it (paper) out,” Zanzinger said.
A second time money and paper were crumpled, but no matter how hard anyone tried, the wrinkles would not come out. Still, the money could be spent and the good words written could be read.
“You still have worth as a person,” said Walsh. “They (the words) are still there.”
More than 275 students saw the presentations and were asked to take the pledge.
The anti-cyberbullying program is the result of research done by UT students on why students who are victims of bullying sometimes copy that behavior and bully other students. They plan to publish their findings.
They also will offer the anti-cyberbullying program for use at other schools or by other organizations interested in awareness of the problem.
According to the National Center for Education Statistics, in the 2008-2009 school year, about 28 percent of students aged 12 to 18 reported being bullied at school. About 6 percent said they were victims of cyberbullying.
Game developer Square Enix took down its ‘Hitman: Absolution’ ad campaign after public outcry over its promotion of cyberbullying; “Square Enix wants you to put a hit on your friends” was the company’s email slogan, encouraging gamers to threaten their friends on Facebook.
By
Anne Collier, Guest Blogger /
December 18, 2012
This was good to see: What looked like a truly anti-social media company, game developer Square Enix saw irresponsibility for what it was and quickly reversed a stupid marketing decision. I’d like to take it as a sign that – in this very social media environment where users are co-producers with the providers of their media experiences – media companies and users alike will be increasingly wise to the power that users have just by the nature of social media.
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Anne Collier
Guest Blogger
Anne Collier is editor of NetFamilyNews.org and co-director of ConnectSafely.org, a Web-based interactive forum and information site for teens, parents, educators, and everybody interested in the impact of the social Web on youth and vice versa. She lives in Northern California and has two sons.
Recent posts
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My definition of an anti-social media company is one that fails to treat its users as partners in the social experiences they’re co-creating with it.
RELATED: America’s 4 family cultures – what’s yours?
But I wonder how sustainable such a company’s practices are, because of the transparency and user-driven nature of social media, and what those say about where control ultimately lies (something users haven’t completely wakened up to yet) – more on that here.
Anyway, the decision Square Enix decided to reverse was to advertise its game “Hitman: Absolution” with a campaign that started with an e-mail which “literally [said] ‘Square Enix Wants You to Put a Hit on Your Friends!’,” reported Geekdad at Wired. The e-mail instructed players to go to Facebook and use an app that would help them insult and send death threats ostensibly to other players. Only one of the problems with that is that non-players and people who’d never heard of this videogame could’ve gotten those cruel messages.
Maybe some of us get the sort of dark reverse psychology that cruel in-game behavior on display outside the game pulls some people into the “fold,” but non-gamers don’t. And many younger recipients of such messages would likely be non-gamers, since the game’s about as “M” as an M-rated game could be (M for “Mature” because of the gore, violence, sexuality and substance abuse it depicts, according to the game raters at ESRB). Maybe Square Enix got that the timing, with online and offline bullying of high concern in our society, was really bad.
Maybe the company even got that a lot of people (e.g., those who hadn’t heard of the game) could get hurt, but I hope it even got that the campaign was modeling as well as enabling social aggression.
JANESVILLE As long as humans have been interacting with one another, some humans have bullied others.
Just as technology makes communication easier and more efficient, it makes bullying easier and more efficient as well.
“Now it (bullying) has hit a different range of students and parents who I don’t think are ready for it,” said Randy Green, a Franklin Middle School health teacher.
Franklin Middle School on Monday night hosted a presentation about cyberbullying by UW-Eau Claire criminal justice professor Justin Patchin. Patchin is one of the founders of the Cyberbullying Research Center, an organization that studies the trends and effects of cyberbullying among adolescents.
Patchin defines cyberbullying as the use of electronics to willfully and repeatedly do harm.
Cyberbullying has much in common with face-to-face bullying, but it has some distinct differences. For example, even though kids can go home from school Friday and not see another teen until Monday morning, they still can feel the effects of bullying through their cellphones or social media websites such as Facebook or Twitter, Patchin said.
“One victim said it was like being tethered to her tormenter,” he said.
In rare cases, teens tell parents, teachers or counselors about the abuse, Green said.
“Many times, their (school workers’) Mondays and Tuesdays are spent catching up on the kids’ weekends,” Green said.
In many cases, cyberbullying victims don’t tell for fear of losing their own Internet or cellphone privileges, Patchin said.
Parents’ first reaction often is an attempt to take away gadgets and prohibit children from using the Internet. That can be appropriate in some cases, Patchin said.
However, in any case of cyberbullying or other misuse of technology, “the technology is not the problem,” Patchin said. “The behavior is.”
A better solution is to teach young people morals and values and to behave with integrity, Patchin said.
“I tell the middle-schoolers that integrity means doing the right thing no matter what,” Patchin said. “You’ve got to work on that filter between their ears.”
Victims of cyberbullying have one clear advantage against their bullies, Patchin said. When people use devices such as computers and cellphones to bully others, that bullying always leaves a trail.
He encourages victims and parents of victims to document all instances of cyberbullying. He said victims should be careful not to retaliate, no matter how tempting it is to do so.
“You want to make it clear what direction the bullying is going,” Patchin said.
Most students use technology safely and responsibly, Patchin said. They’re even using the Internet to be nice to one another.
“Compliments” pages on Facebook are one example, Patchin said. One student or a group of students creates a page and encourages others to send positive messages. The compliments are posted anonymously.
Patchin encourages schools and communities to “make compassion cool” and recognize that students can do great things.
“Don’t put it past your kids to do something very nice in this regard,” he said.
MANILA, Philippines — The best way to prevent cyberbullying and other online crimes is to teach students in school how to use social media responsibly rather than penalize such acts, a lawmaker said Friday.
“Instead of criminalizing cyberbullying and online behavior, I think the best way, the long-term solution, is to teach the young people not to be a cyberbully,” Kabataan party-list Rep. Raymond Palatino told ANC.
“It is important that aside from parents, teachers also remind young people that whatever you do online will always have consequences. Even if you’re anonymous, you can ruin another’s reputation, you can hurt the feelings of other people,” he added.
Palatino last month filed House Resolution No. 2901, which urges the education department to include social media topics in the basic education curriculum of elementary and high school.
He said it is important that children are taught how they should behave on the Web, especially now that the usage of social media and the Internet is still on the rise.
“I think social media usage will continue to rise; therefore, I think our schools, in order to be relevant, have to educate our young people,” the lawmaker said.
He added, “Instead of discouraging young people to use technology inside the classroom, we might as well take advantage of the use of mobile phones and laptops, and teach them how to prevent cyberbullying.”
Palatino said it is not necessary that a separate subject be given to students. A special topic on social media is enough to instruct children on how to behave well online and how to deal with cyberbullying.
“We know that cyberbullying is a fact, and hate speeches and racist comments are proliferating on the web. We have to protect our young people,” he said.
MANILA, Philippines — The best way to prevent cyberbullying and other online crimes is to teach students in school how to use social media responsibly rather than penalize such acts, a lawmaker said Friday.
“Instead of criminalizing cyberbullying and online behavior, I think the best way, the long-term solution, is to teach the young people not to be a cyberbully,” Kabataan party-list Rep. Raymond Palatino told ANC.
“It is important that aside from parents, teachers also remind young people that whatever you do online will always have consequences. Even if you’re anonymous, you can ruin another’s reputation, you can hurt the feelings of other people,” he added.
Palatino last month filed House Resolution No. 2901, which urges the education department to include social media topics in the basic education curriculum of elementary and high school.
He said it is important that children are taught how they should behave on the Web, especially now that the usage of social media and the Internet is still on the rise.
“I think social media usage will continue to rise; therefore, I think our schools, in order to be relevant, have to educate our young people,” the lawmaker said.
He added, “Instead of discouraging young people to use technology inside the classroom, we might as well take advantage of the use of mobile phones and laptops, and teach them how to prevent cyberbullying.”
Palatino said it is not necessary that a separate subject be given to students. A special topic on social media is enough to instruct children on how to behave well online and how to deal with cyberbullying.
“We know that cyberbullying is a fact, and hate speeches and racist comments are proliferating on the web. We have to protect our young people,” he said.
We know how bullying affects youth. It’s debilitating. But the effects of threats, harsh words and sick jokes extend beyond students to families.
Alexis Henkel, 15, of Bradley, showed her fortitude and bravery recently by speaking publicly about an extreme case of cyberbullying, allegedly by a former Orono High School girl. The death threats against her brought agony to her parents and twin brother, who simultaneously worked to protect her and address their own anger.
Alexis’ mother, Judy Henkel, 53, talked recently about what the family has endured since her daughter started receiving dozens of violent threats on a Tumblr blog account in late September. “It kills you,” she summed up. She has ideas for what parents and schools can do to prevent a similar situation from happening again.
For Judy, the effects of the cyberbullying on Alexis made her fear for her daughter’s life. Her daughter told her on a Sunday what was happening — that she was getting messages from someone about how she should be raped, how her children should be raped in front of her and how she and her house should be set on fire.
A few days later, Judy learned news of the worst possible result of cyberbullying: A 16-year-old girl in British Columbia, Amanda Todd, committed suicide after posting a YouTube video explaining her struggle with bullying and depression.
“That hit home so hard,” Judy said.
“I held (Alexis) in my arms every night,” she said. “I told her, ‘You have to make a promise to me that you won’t do anything until you talk to me.’ I said, ‘We’ll go see whoever we have to see. You go talk to whoever you have to talk to. Whatever mountains we have to move, we’ll move, but you don’t do anything. You taking your life doesn’t solve anything. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.’”
The family alerted the Veazie Police Department, and Judy said she credits Sgt. Keith Emery for working tirelessly, even on his days off, to get to the bottom of the threats. “He was our biggest shoulder to lean on. Without him, it never would have gotten solved,” she said.
On Nov. 1, Emery charged a 16-year-old girl, who now attends school in southern Maine, with two counts of terrorizing: one misdemeanor, one felony. The girl admitted to making many of the threats and will appear in court Dec. 24. Since charging her, Emery said the girl has violated her Internet-use conditions several times.
Cyberbullying — any type of bullying — must be taken seriously. “It’s not a joke. It’s not fun. It’s not ‘kids being kids.’ It’s sick and disgusting, and it needs to be handled. It’s a crime, and it needs to be handled like a crime,” Emery said.
Judy agrees. She wants to see the horrors of bullying in the open, so teenagers know it’s not acceptable. The effects of bullying should not be invisible in schools, she said. “It needs to be plastered on the walls. It needs to be everywhere,” she said.
There should be a place where students can write a note anonymously, without being seen, so teachers or administrators can take action, she said. Student leaders, potentially as part of a school group, should address bullying and rude comments in school and online.
What can parents do? Make sure you know what your son or daughter is doing online, Judy said. Make sure you’re friends with them on Facebook. Make clear what is acceptable to do online. And if they break the rules, don’t let them use the computer for anything other than schoolwork.
Most importantly, though, parents must keep the lines of communication open, Judy said. Have a trusting relationship.
“If I didn’t have that, I would have buried my daughter,” she said. “Just keep listening. Keep your ears open. There’s so much that can happen in such a short time.”
We know how bullying affects youth. It’s debilitating. But the effects of threats, harsh words and sick jokes extend beyond students to families.
Alexis Henkel, 15, of Bradley, showed her fortitude and bravery recently by speaking publicly about an extreme case of cyberbullying, allegedly by a former Orono High School girl. The death threats against her brought agony to her parents and twin brother, who simultaneously worked to protect her and address their own anger.
Alexis’ mother, Judy Henkel, 53, talked recently about what the family has endured since her daughter started receiving dozens of violent threats on a Tumblr blog account in late September. “It kills you,” she summed up. She has ideas for what parents and schools can do to prevent a similar situation from happening again.
For Judy, the effects of the cyberbullying on Alexis made her fear for her daughter’s life. Her daughter told her on a Sunday what was happening — that she was getting messages from someone about how she should be raped, how her children should be raped in front of her and how she and her house should be set on fire.
A few days later, Judy learned news of the worst possible result of cyberbullying: A 16-year-old girl in British Columbia, Amanda Todd, committed suicide after posting a YouTube video explaining her struggle with bullying and depression.
“That hit home so hard,” Judy said.
“I held (Alexis) in my arms every night,” she said. “I told her, ‘You have to make a promise to me that you won’t do anything until you talk to me.’ I said, ‘We’ll go see whoever we have to see. You go talk to whoever you have to talk to. Whatever mountains we have to move, we’ll move, but you don’t do anything. You taking your life doesn’t solve anything. It’s a permanent solution to a temporary problem.’”
The family alerted the Veazie Police Department, and Judy said she credits Sgt. Keith Emery for working tirelessly, even on his days off, to get to the bottom of the threats. “He was our biggest shoulder to lean on. Without him, it never would have gotten solved,” she said.
On Nov. 1, Emery charged a 16-year-old girl, who now attends school in southern Maine, with two counts of terrorizing: one misdemeanor, one felony. The girl admitted to making many of the threats and will appear in court Dec. 24. Since charging her, Emery said the girl has violated her Internet-use conditions several times.
Cyberbullying — any type of bullying — must be taken seriously. “It’s not a joke. It’s not fun. It’s not ‘kids being kids.’ It’s sick and disgusting, and it needs to be handled. It’s a crime, and it needs to be handled like a crime,” Emery said.
Judy agrees. She wants to see the horrors of bullying in the open, so teenagers know it’s not acceptable. The effects of bullying should not be invisible in schools, she said. “It needs to be plastered on the walls. It needs to be everywhere,” she said.
There should be a place where students can write a note anonymously, without being seen, so teachers or administrators can take action, she said. Student leaders, potentially as part of a school group, should address bullying and rude comments in school and online.
What can parents do? Make sure you know what your son or daughter is doing online, Judy said. Make sure you’re friends with them on Facebook. Make clear what is acceptable to do online. And if they break the rules, don’t let them use the computer for anything other than schoolwork.
Most importantly, though, parents must keep the lines of communication open, Judy said. Have a trusting relationship.
“If I didn’t have that, I would have buried my daughter,” she said. “Just keep listening. Keep your ears open. There’s so much that can happen in such a short time.”
Training on preventing cyberbullying and sexting is being offered through the Los Banos Police Department.
Crime Analyst Megan Soares on Wednesday told members of the Community Resource Council that dangerous online and cellphone activity is prevalent among youths.
“You would not believe how many of our police reports and fights at school begin with something that happened on social media,” Soares said. “People have to remember, it starts on Facebook at 2 o’clock in the morning and it carries on and trickles down into the school day.”
Soares said she has two presentations, one for parents and another for children. She said the presentations are each an hour and include a video. Soares said the presentations use examples, such as a sexting case in Los Gatos that led to a teen committing suicide.
The presentations also go into what is punishable by law. For example, if a teen sends a partially or fully nude picture to a boyfriend or girlfriend, that youngster could be prosecuted for distributing child pornography in many jurisdictions.
Soares said she would like to connect with the Los Banos Unified School District to give the presentation to sixth-graders.
“Usually, sexting starts in junior high,” Soares said. “I don’t think kids understand. There’s a story of a girl who was in a chatroom and the pictures got out. They thought they had got it under control… but you can never get rid of it. About four years later it showed up again.”
The presentation is also available to community groups, especially those that include parents and children.
The city of Los Banos has not offered this presentation before, but the format will likely follow the one used by other municipalities.
“Usually, what the city of Sunnyvale and other cities have done is schedule the parents and the children to come together and then say, ‘Parents go to this room and children go to that room,’ and they’ve done it at the same time.”
Soares plans to deliver her presentation to Community Resource Council members at next month’s meeting.
“It is definitely valuable,” Soares said.
For more information, call Megan Soares at (209) 827-7070, ext. 142.
