Parents

Kids Bullying Other Children May Also Affect Your Child

The first time a child is involved with other kids bullying them, the typical first reaction of the parents is to lose their temper and imagine all the things they wish would happen to those bullies.

Of course, when they calm down, they usually realize that the problem has to be dealt with in the most delicate way, and the best solutions do not involve anger and abuse.

Bullies, no matter how mean they may be to other kids, are still children and they must be taught respect and given leadership. There’s an old saying that “Children learn what they live,” and if they are bullying other kids, odds are they have been bullied and/or abused themselves whether at home, at school, or somewhere else.

Are Your Kids Properly Prepared for School?

If you are not in the school system, you probably have no idea what teachers see and must deal with on a daily basis.  A student in the first years of school has to learn to deal with relationships, and many kids do not handle that adjustment process very well.

You may feel that your child is better prepared for the school world than some others are, but you still must press him/her to learn to be fair and considerate of others, and this teaching process should start in the very early years.

Much of what you have attempted to teach and stressed so much seems to go by the wayside when an act of bullying destroys the essence of what you have taught.  You as the adult should already know that some kids are not raised under the same value system as you and your child(ren) were.  When the inevitable event comes up where you must help your child through a bullying situation, how do you handle it?

The Process of Dealing with Bullying

There is a process that responsible parents must go through, however fruitless it might be.  A call should be made to the school and a request made to the proper authorities to schedule a meeting to talk about the event.

At this initial meeting, you should voice your displeasure with the whole situation.  Sometimes, the other parents might be in the same meeting, but most people in the educational system don’t like the risk of having both sides in the same room at the same time.

You as the plaintiff get to express your feelings first, and then the defendant’s parents have an opportunity to listen to your complaints and make a decision as to how to handle what they have heard.

It would be wonderful if they would go home and speak calmly to the child involved and that would be the last time there was a problem.  Sometimes this happens, but most often it does not. With younger children, bullying another will often stop when a parent intervenes.  As they grow older, it unfortunately doesn’t usually work that way.

Parents who stay in a school system for the entire duration of their children’s school years will learn the problem kids and attempt to keep their children as safe as possible by reducing or eliminating exposure to those kids.  How well the school system responds to problematic students has a lot to do with how parents must deal with the situation.

Students who become involved with bullying can often be diverted to more beneficial pursuits when someone steps forward to provide guidance.  This can be a teacher, principal, parent, coach, guidance counselor, church member, or anyone having contact with the youth.  If you want to change things, you sometimes have to go places you hadn’t planned on going.

Knowing the background of the bully and ascertaining why they harass other kids is a great help in finding ways to help him/her adapt to proper social interaction with their peers. It not only can help them in their daily life at school, but on into their adult years as well. The earlier the problem is dealt with, the better for everyone involved.