School Bullying Council

There’s new legislation, requirements for schools and plenty of information out there–but not everyone knows how to best grapple with the ongoing problem that is childhood bullying.

Given that uncertainty, panelists from the U.S. Department of Education, Federal Trade Commission, New Jersey State Police, the NJ Coalition for Bullying Awareness and Prevention, and New Jersey Principals and Supervisors Association were on hand to lead discussions and answer questions at a wide-ranging forum at Rowan University hosted by U.S. Sen. Frank Lautenberg’s office Tuesday night.

“Bullying is a terrible thing to have happen to anybody within a school campus, within friendship circles. What I want to do is make sure that we sound the word that bullying is not an acceptable thing at any university or college, or school that gets federal assistance,” said Lautenberg, in an opening video message.

Dr. Stuart Green, founder of the NJ Coalition for Bullying Awareness and Prevention, and moderator for the forum, said his office takes calls daily on reports of bullying. On an average day they get about one complaint a day, but can get far more on a busy day.

“It’s those calls and contacts from parents that sustain this work for me. We’re still at the point in which raising awareness of the extent and nature of the problem of bullying is the key to creating change,” said Green. “Despite all the attention we seem to be paying to it these days, this is really a foundational problem in all human affairs and I believe that it’s much more important than we even regard it as.”

Deborah A. Temkin, Research Policy Coordinator for Bullying Prevention Initiatives in the Office of Safe and Drug-Free Schools of the U.S. Dept. of Education spoke on the nature of safety in schools.

“We are the ones who keep the student safe. If a student isn’t safe, they cannot learn, period. It’s that simple,” said Temkin.

According to Temkin, almost three-quarters of all students are somehow involved in bullying, whether they are the bully or the victim. Temkin also noted that teachers and students, as well as bystanders make a great difference.

“When peers step in, bullying will stop,” said Temkin.

Derick Rill, a Congressional Specialist for the Federal Trade Commission in Washington D.C., focused on opportunities and consequences. Materials were provided to trigger conversations among parents or administrators and young people on topics of online bullying and responsible internet behavior.

Jennifer Keyes-Maloney, Assistant Director of Government Relations for NJSPA, focused on the Anti-Bullying Bill of Rights enacted earlier this year. She listed four essential ingredients to investigate harassment, intimidation, and bullying (HIB): Talent, Training, Team, and Timelines.

“Districts have a duty to step in and address it immediately,” said Keyes-Maloney.

Staff Sgt. Gregory Williams, a NJ State Police Officer and trained instructor and practitioner with the National Association of School Resource Officers led the discussion on law enforcement’s role in school bullying.

Margie Glick, Human Relations Commissioner for Gloucester County took to the microphone for the question and answer portion of the evening, and brought up concerns over the accurate reporting of bullying in districts. Keyes-Maloney replied that it will be up to the districts to report their findings. Glick also voiced her concern for biased courtrooms when justice is meant to be served.

Jaried Kimberley, a 2010 Gateway Regional High School graduate and current Rowan University theatre performance and education major, took his stand as someone who has seen bullying firsthand. He addressed to the panel his passion on the prevention, rather than just consequential response to bullying. His remarks led to applause by all attending.

Gloucester Township Police Department Chief W. Harry Earle said it’s important not to focus just on schools as the sole source of bullying.

“All these measures are being taken to prevent bullying in the school, which is fantastic, but we must acknowledge and have to understand that everywhere bullying is even occurring outside of the school,” said W. Harry Earle, Chief of Police for Gloucester Township Police. “And I think it’s so important that the schools and the police work together to prevent it from happening in the first place.”

http://westdeptford.patch.com/articles/experts-talk-bullying-at-rowan

Bullying often takes place in the schools, but one expert says it’s vital that parents help eradicate name calling, vicious gossip and violence by taking action at home.

“Our mission as caring adult should be to help children navigate the often very treacherous waters of childhood and to help them get to other side, to adulthood, as unscathed as possible,” said S. David Bernstein.

On Tuesday night, Bernstein, an expert in risk management, spoke to a crowd of parents at the Conservative Synagogue. At the end of his presentation, he played the viral YouTube video that originated in Westport

First, he talked about Ryan Halligan, a Vermont teen who committed “bullycide” after suffering nonstop harassment.

“It’s pretty bad when there’s an actual word now for bullying a kid into suicide,” said Bernstein. “It says something about our society.”

Bernstein is the president of Forensic Consultants, a company focused on risk management and threat assessment. If an employer is worried that a worker might be dangerous, people like Bernstein are called. He’s worked in schools with bullying problems, consulted with the FBI and trained with the United States Secret Service.

He said that schools can sometimes be dismissive of claims of bullying, leading to hopelessness for the victim.

Jennifer Pogue, the mother of two Bedford Middle School students, said that while the schools play a role in preventing bullying, it’s ultimately up to the parents.

“We as parents need to stick up for our children, teach other children to be empathetic…and to address the parents [of bullies],” Pogue said. “It’s very easy to blame the schools, but by the time it gets to that, it’s really too late. It’s out of our control. Everyone has to work together.”

The talk was originally scheduled for February, but the snow pushed it back. According to Jamie Klein-Zoref, director of the synagogue’s preschool, the timing was fortuitous with the recent release of anti-bullying video made by Alye Pollack, a 13-year-old Bedford Middle School student.

“We know [the subject of bullying] is very relevant and as a community, we like to offer education,” said Klein-Zoref.

Bernstein told parents that it’s a myth that bullying toughen kids up, although he’s interviewed people who believe that.

“I’ve actually heard parents say that when it was brought to their attention their child was a bully that ‘they should be thanking my kid because it’s stress inoculation’,” Bernstein said.

He said the typical charecteristics of a bully are:

• They requently have above average social skills that they use to manipulate with.
• They usually need an audience or it’s “no fun.”
• Typically know what they’re doing is wrong.
• They have limited empathy.
• Might see victimization as a game.
• Often need to be in control.
• Can become lifelong bullies if there’s no intervention.

He also said that even prestigious private schools are not immune from bullying.

http://westport.patch.com/articles/expert-parents-need-to-help-end-bullying

There is a significant difference between bullying and personal conflict, Dorothy Espelage says.

The professor of educational psychology at the University of Illinois at Urbana-Champaign is currently an expert witness in six suicide cases involving young victims of bullying. She also has devoted 17 years to the study of bullying in schools.

“I want the suicides to quit,” she told the audience at a workshop held Saturday at Southeast High School. “I just want the bullying to stop.”

“Bullying: Keeping a Step Ahead” was the second in a series of annual “IMPACT” sessions sponsored by the Family and Community Engagement Initiative of Springfield Public Schools. The Parent Advisory Council, organized by Superintendent Walter Milton, also sponsors the program.

Espelage said the difference between bullying and “normal conflict” is that there is no conflict when it comes to bullying.

“If there’s a conflict, you can mediate it,” she said. “You don’t mediate bullying. You really just can’t mediate their nastiness.”

Although bullying behavior is complicated, it most commonly involves popular students and athletes targeting peers perceived as being “different,” including students with disabilities or “gender non-conformists.”

Espelage said the latter category includes not only gays and lesbians, but any student whose behavior is not considered normal for his or her gender. An example might be a boy who wants to join his school’s dance team.

She said schools show little tolerance for racially offensive language, but the same cannot be said of intolerance toward gays and lesbians.

“We have not sent the same message about the homophobic language,” she said, adding that offenders include teachers as well as students.

Espelage said it is harder now for students to escape bullying because of the widespread use of social networks, including texting and Facebook posts. She added that “cyberbullying” could be even more devastating.

She said monitoring children’s use of home computers as much as possible should reduce cyberbullying. In addition, parents should have access to their children’s Facebook account or accounts, she said.

“The message we want to send to kids is you can severely affect your academic outcome if you engage in cyberbullying,” Espelage said, adding that more parents are pressing charges against cyberbullies.

Parental accountability for bullying also is vital, according to Espelage. During her years of research and interviews, she said only two parents have admitted to raising a bully.

Espelage was a member of a governor’s task force that recommended ways to reduce bullying in a report submitted March 1. Recommendations included bullying policies at schools, school-wide initiatives to reduce bullying and improvement of existing anti-bullying programs.

John and Tracy Rivera of Springfield said their 12-year-old son, Matthew, has been the victim of bullying since third grade. The Riveras said repeated attempts to resolve the problem resulted in temporary respites at best.

“It stops for a while, but then it picks back up,” Mrs. Rivera said. If the bullying continues, the Riveras said they might resort to home schooling.

Tami McDaniel, a licensed clinical counselor, said she works with both bullies and victims.

McDaniel said bullying often results from jealousy, adding that she has seen children as young as 7 years of age victimized.

“My concern is it’s starting at a much younger age,” she said. “They’re having anxiety problems and some depression because of that.

McDaniel said that schools have to be vigilant because bullies often “fly under the radar,” striking on the playground, in the cafeteria, in hallways and in restrooms.

“Bullying works when it’s kept under wraps and done behind closed doors when teachers aren’t around,” she said.

Milton said the workshop was intended to send a message that bullying would not be tolerated in Springfield schools.

“I think it is a topic that should be at the forefront of many discussions,” Milton said. “We cannot shy away from difficult discussions like this because it’s not going to go away, and we have to be willing to stand up and deal with it.”

Theresa Schieffer can be reached through metro desk at 788-1519.

http://www.sj-r.com/top-stories/x1315031091/Bullying-more-than-personal-conflict-expert-says