School Bullying Council

If you want evidence of how out of control sexual harassment laws have gotten, look no further than the story of a 7-year-old Boston boy who’s been accused of sexual assault for kicking a bully in the groin after he choked him and stole his gloves. This ridiculous tale provides a great opportunity to unleash a hearty online rant about the evils of liberalism — unless you stop to consider the facts.

Tasha Lynch of Dorechester, Mass. tells the Boston Globe that on November 22, her son Mark Curran came off the school bus and was nearly in tears. He told her that a classmate choked him and took his new gloves on the bus. Lynch asked the driver what he saw and he just “smiled and shrugged.” The next day, Lynch had her 11-year-old son escort his brother to the principal’s office to report the incident. She expected the school to have the two boys talk it out, but instead Curran was questioned. The paper reports:

Lynch said the boy later told her he was so rattled by the questioning he told school officials he started the fight.

“They didn’t believe me,” Mark said softly. “I didn’t get my gloves back.”

Later that day, Lynch received a message from Mark’s grandmother, telling her that school officials were trying to reach her. Lynch said she spoke with [interim school principal Leslie Gant], who told her the school had called the state Department of Children and Families to report the incident.

Gant said Mark confessed to punching the other boy in the groin, according to Lynch. But later Mark said he had kicked, not punched, the student.

“She said, ‘It doesn’t matter who hit who first,’ ” Lynch said. ” ‘He said he hit him in the testicles. That’s assault. That’s sexual assault.’

“I said: ‘The kid choked my son first and that’s called attempted murder. He said he couldn’t breathe,’ ” Lynch said.

Later Lynch received a letter saying her son could be suspended or transferred because he’s been accused of “violating codes of discipline related to sexual harassment and endangering the physical safety of another student.” A spokesman for the school district wouldn’t comment on the case specifically, but said school employees are mandatory reporters when it comes to sexual harassment. The school has scheduled a hearing about the incident for tomorrow.

At first glance, the story is a prime example of how sexual harassment laws go too far. (Thanks a lot, feminists!) From Lynch’s account, it’s clear that her son was defending himself, and while kicking an attacker in the balls is assault, it clearly isn’t sexual and is justified when someone is choking the life out of you. The problem is, we really have no idea what happened on the bus. As with most reports involving incidents at school, officials can’t comment because minors are involved. Therefore the only account we have of the incident is what the boy reported to his mother, and what she told the Globe.

It’s entirely possible that the fight went down exactly as Curran said, but the school has no way of knowing that. Readers come away from the story with the image of a boy kicking a bully in the groin, recognize that’s not sexual harassment, then declare in the Globe‘s comment section that this is an assault on common sense committed by “lazy and cowardly administrators” who are “pathetic” and “sick.” Yet, school officials are entirely right to consider the possibility of sexual harassment. A student came to the principal’s office and said he started a fight with another boy on the bus and hit him in the testicles. If a student was walking up to girls an punching them in the chest and crotch, that would be sexual harassment.

If Lynch’s account is right, both boys broke the school’s code on assault, but not sexual harassment. However, school officials aren’t saying the boy committed sexual harassment, they’re just investigating the charges. Lynch was understandably upset about the school’s unwillingness to protect her son from bullies, but she went to the Globe before administrators came to a conclusion over whether or not her son is guilty of sexual assault. Now there’s an article in the paper that gives the impression that touchy-feely rules on things like sexual harassment and bullying are making school officials overreact when it comes to kids fighting. In reality, when kids report that someone hit them in the genitals or choked them, we want schools to thoroughly investigate both sides of the story. Ideally, rules on sexual harassment and bullying are going to make that happen, and help administrators come to a reasonable resolution.

First-Grader Accused Of Sexual Harassment [Boston Globe]

Image via greenland/Shutterstock.

http://jezebel.com/5864948/first-grader-kicks-bully-in-the-balls-sparks-sexual-harassment-investigation

It was surprising, they all said, that so many of them had been affected by a bully.

Nearly 100 of the 647 students at Concord Middle School said that at one point or another they had been afraid to come to school this year.

Over two and a half days last month, the students, faculty, and staff at the school, under the banner of “CMS Stands Together,’’ engaged in a student-led, largely homegrown curriculum about bullying.

The first surprise was an anonymous survey answered by the sixth- through eighth-graders that revealed bullies and their victims permeated the school. Many students admitted to being a bully as well as a victim.

The other surprise was how many students had signed up to help lead the program. Earlier this fall, English teacher Sarah Oelkers and guidance counselor Kim Cyr asked the eighth-grade classes for volunteers to plan a program that would take up the short week leading to Thanksgiving.

“Fifty-seven of us crammed into one classroom,’’ said eighth-grader Claire Schnadig.

“In midwinter last year, we decided to throw the curriculum out the window and involve the whole community, rather than just disperse antibullying lessons piecemeal,’’ said Lynn Beattie, the school’s principal.

They had Olympic athletes, coaches, a teen singing sensation, and a Boston rapper all appear on stage. They made a video in which students, either anonymously or on camera, told of their bad experiences. They made posters to hang on the walls. They wrote on inflated balloons what action they could take in the future and sent them aloft.

Classes were devoted to discussing such issues as what makes a leader; what makes a bully; what can the individual do; what steps a bystander should take.

Frank Novak, a former college and professional football coach who is now a motivational speaker, held a question-and-answer session with eighth-graders.

“We had great participation, particularly from boys,’’ said Beattie.

For two days, the students were divided into groups of 25 with two teachers.

“It was the same team the whole time, which allowed them to be open and honest,’’ said Oelkers.

Singer Hayley Reardon, a 15-year-old singer from Marblehead, performed her antibullying anthem “Stand Together.’’ Students also heard from Boston rapper Mojo B, formerly Brent Shuttleworth, who attended Concord public schools. He described how he had been bullied at Concord Middle School and how it affected him.

“I think the antibullying initiative is incredibly important for several reasons,’’ said the rapper. “It deepens and develops the relationship between the students by supporting the idea of an ‘upstander,’ someone who is able discourage bullying by standing up for others being bullied. And it allows students to see what other students experience, and places an emphasis on both understanding similarities and respecting differences.’’

Oelkers said the balloon ceremony brought tears to her eyes. Each student wrote “something they could do to be kind’’ on a balloon, read it, and let it go.

“In my 18 years as a teacher, this is the single most powerful teaching and learning experience I’ve been involved with,’’ said Oelkers.

Liz Welburn, Concord Middle School’s assistant principal, said the faculty gave the students the terminology, the language to deal with bullies.

Eighth-graders said the role of the bystander is key.

“The bystanders are the most important part because they can step in and stop the bully where the target can’t,’’ said eighth-grader Bryce Bjork.

In addition to Oelkers, other teachers who spearheaded the initiative were Kim Cyr, Kari Kibler, Dan Murphy, and Maria McDermott.

Over lunch, a group of eighth-graders shared their thoughts about the experience.

“It’s gone so well, better than I thought,’’ said Chris Sykes. “It’s the small things that add up. It may not seem like bullying but it is. A lot of us have been victims.’’

“This has allowed kids to take charge,’’ said Bjork.

Charlotte Wallis said lessons from the program will last all year.

“I thought two days could be depressing or cheesy,’’ said Margaret Gill. “But I like our approach.’’

“It’s not all about the victim,’’ said Sykes. “You have to look at the bully too. That person needs help. Sometimes the bully needs more help than the victim.’’

Ryan Hebert summed it up simply: “It worked.’’

Betsy Levinson can be reached at betsy.levinson@gmail.com.

http://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/regionals/west/2011/12/04/concord-middle-school-tackles-bullying-with-homegrown-approach/S2E1Gslnaqubss4ZFmtK3N/story.html

A teenage boy named Jonah Mowry posted the above video to YouTube in August, in which he uses note cards to share the heartbreaking story of what a lifetime of being bullied has done to him. It’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever seen, by one of the bravest boys I’ve never met.

“I get bullied every day,” Jonah explains, adding that the abuse he’s suffered from classmates—including being called “gay,” “fag,” “dick,” “douche,” and “homo”—began when he was first grade. “I’ve cut… a lot,” he writes on another note card, before displaying several self-mutilation scars for the camera. “Suicide has been an option… many times.”

Jonah then reveals he’s about to start eighth grade. But since he has only one close friend remaining, he’s not ready to return to school. “I’m scared to go back,” he writes, before explaining why in the following set of note cards (which I’ve edited for spelling, punctuation and clarity):

A lot of people hate me. I don’t know why.

But I guess I do, because I kind of hate me, too.

I can’t do this anymore. I’m tired of being torn down and then building myself up, only to be torn down again.

Now sobbing, Jonah pauses. He stares into the camera. A deep breath follows. And then (again, edited for spelling, punctuation and clarity):

But I’m not going anywhere. Because I’m stronger than that.

And I have a million reasons to be here.

One update on a Twitter account bearing Jonah’s name led me to RandomTV201‘s YouTube channel, which features several videos of a boy strongly resembling Jonah (often with the same female friend). The account’s most recent video, a lip-sync of Rihanna’s “SM,” was posted just yesterday. Based on that, I think it’s fair to assume Jonah is alive (and hopefully well).

Jonah Mowry has endured a lifetime of pain and suffering at the hands of bullies, yet he’s still with us. He’s still with us because he’s been brave enough, and strong enough, to persevere—to remember that life is always worth living. Unfortunately, the same cannot be said about thousands of other bullied teens for whom suicide was the answer. So as we celebrate Jonah’s life, let’s commemorate those cut short by continuing to work to end bullying.

Update: As commenter nightelfmohawk points out, Jonah just posted this new video to YouTube, in which he thanks everyone for the love and support they’ve shown to him in the past few hours. Jonah also dismisses any suggestion his original video was fake. “Yes, three months ago I decided to make a fake video about how I was being bullied for being gay just for attention,” he says sarcastically. “Really? No.”

http://gawker.com/5864842/bullied-teen-shares-story-of-pain-and-perseverance-in-online-video