School Bullying Council

A Nebraska school district wants a 3-year-old deaf boy to change the way he signs his name because they say the gesture makes his hands look like weapons, the boy’s family claims. 

The district, in Grand Island, about three hours west of Omaha, has a policy that forbids kids bringing to school “any instrument … that looks like a weapon,” local station KOLN reported.

According to the report, Hunter Spanjer signs his name by crossing his index finger and middle finger and then wagging his hands, which the school says is not appropriate.

“Anybody that I have talked to thinks this is absolutely ridiculous. This is not threatening in any way,” his grandmother, Janet Logue, told KOLN.

NCN via YouTube

Brian Spanjer demonstrates how his son Hunter signs his name.

“It’s a symbol,” his father, Brian Spanjer, added. “It’s an actual sign, a registered sign, through S.E.E.,” or Signing Exact English, a sign language system.

A school spokesman called the issue a “misunderstanding” and said it had  nothing to do with guns or weapons. 

The name gesture was “not an appropriate thing to do in school,” and administrators were asking Hunter to spell his name out, letter-by-letter, instead of using the sign, spokesman Jack Sheard told the Daily News.  

“We want to do what is best for every student in our district, and we care more about that than everything else,” Sheard said. “We are working with the parents to find the best solution we can.” 

Locals think the school should leave the tyke alone.

“It’s his name. It’s not like he’s going to bring a gun to school when he’s 3-years old,” Grand Islander Dana Schwieger fumed.

NCN via YouTube

Hunter Spanjer signing with family members. ‘”Anybody that I have talked to thinks this is absolutely ridiculous,’ his grandmother said about the school’s concerns.

WATCH VIDEO

The two-time Pro Bowler has until Monday at 4 p.m. to agree to a long-term deal with the Ravens or he’ll have to play the season under the $7.7 million franchise tag.

Rice, who handed out $20 bills to kids for dancing and doing push-ups on the stage Friday, jokingly asked those in attendance to return the favor and call Ravens general manager Ozzie Newsome and “tell him to pay me.”

He was not the only Raven to deliver that message Friday. After learning that New Orleans Saints quarterback Drew Brees, who also was franchised, had agreed to a five-year, $100 million deal that reportedly includes an NFL-record $60 million in guaranteed money, Rice’s fullback, Vonta Leach, wrote on his Twitter account: “Now I’m waiting for [Rice] to get his money he deserves. #cutthecheck.”

Rice declined to elaborate on the ongoing negotiations between the Ravens and his agent, Todd France, saying “I’m actually here for the bullying thing.”

Rice, 25, has emerged as a spokesman for anti-bullying, speaking at several events, including two in Howard County. The running back said he was motivated to speak out after learning of the death of Howard County teen Grace McComas, who committed suicide on Easter Sunday after being the victim of online bullying.

“Well you know after I heard about the story about the little girl losing her life over somebody’s words, you can’t imagine somebody’s life being taken over words. I live by the creed that sticks and stones they break your bones, but words can never hurt you. In this case, words killed somebody,” Rice said. “When you think about it, we all put ourselves in somebody’s shoes, a different family’s shoes. Whether we have kids or not, we can feel that family’s pain. I felt that pain and I felt like it’s time for me to be a voice out there. In another situation, you’re talking about retaliation. That’s not the kind of retaliation that you need in this kind of situation. It’s getting your voice out there to help any other situation.”

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2012-07-13/sports/bal-ray-rice-says-optimistic-about-agreeing-to-an-extension-with-ravens-20120713_1_ray-rice-vonta-leach-anti-bullying

At the Sports Museum at Boston’s TD Garden, where I serve as chair of the board of trustees, we’ve launched an initiative called Boston vs. Bullies  to help at risk youth learn ways to combat bullying using lessons from sports.

As we talk to potential sponsors in the business community, it’s become quite obvious that bullying is not just a kids’ issue.  We adults could use a little advice as well when it comes to bullying in our workplace hallways, in boardrooms, and on our business’ social media websites.

Adults in both the corporate and entrepreneurial world have run-ins with mistreatment, harassment, and intimidation every day.  For some, it’s become just another part of doing business.  Bullying today can include passive aggressive postings from competitors on blogs or walls, negative comments on review sites or from customers who perform social bullying when they don’t get what they want and start tweeting to complain instead of calling customer service to fix the problem privately.

The Internet allows cowardly bullies to hide behind their computer screen and say things online they might not have the ability to say to someone’s face.  In this day and age, every business should not only implement regular communications training with their staff but have in place a clear social media policy that outlines the consequences of inappropriate social media interaction with customers, competitors and even colleagues. How would you feel if one of your e-mails sent hastily to a colleague in ALL CAPS were published on the cover of a leading newspaper or in a magazine like Forbes?  If the thought of that makes you uncomfortable, you might want to restraint yourself the next time you behave like a bully online.

Celebrate mistakes and risk taking within your company.  One area where people can really feel harassed in the workplace is if they believe they will pay dearly for anything that does not lead to a big success.  No one wants to be ridiculed in meetings or online for a false start.  When I ran marketing at a startup in the late 90s we gave out monthly awards at an all-company lunch to the person or team with the most visible failure.   We did a companywide post mortem case study and challenged everyone to try again while the lessons learned were fresh on everyone’s minds.  When you create a culture where failing fast is cool (that is, as long as you learn from the mistake) then it’s hard for office bullies to intimidate others because they tried something and fell short.

One of the greatest byproducts of social media I think is that transparency and authenticity are expected and valued.   You cannot hide easily in the age of the Internet.  I’ll admit I have accepted online invitations from people I consider bullies, but that allows me to follow their every move and see who they are linked to or friends with.  Then, when I see a potential danger looming I can warn others that the bully does not have pure intentions or may have ulterior motives like trying to sabotage efforts.  One bully I know positions himself on an e-group I belong to as a “social media thought leader” yet, whenever he responds to a posting he always suggests taking the conversation offline to answer the question.  I have pinged his targets to let them know they need to do some serious back channel reference checks because he is not who he appears to be on his online profiles.

As we say at the Sports Museum, the bullies do not have a chance if we stick together as a team.   In business, it takes a team working together to reach the monthly target or quarterly numbers so it is no surprise that a team is more effective at shutting down an online bully too!

One of the most important lessons we learned in developing the curriculum for our program at the Museum is to take away the audience. If no one is around to watch, the bully loses interest pretty quickly.  Do not stand around and laugh at the water cooler when an office bully makes fun of a colleague.  Do not retweet a snarky comment or “like” one on Facebook, you’re flaming the fire for the bullies to continue.

The most important characteristic to note is that most bullies are very insecure. If there are ways to make that colleague who tortures you feel that they’re recognized for their strengths or played a role in the group’s success, they may feel more appreciated and less likely to act out.

Our goal is for Boston vs. Bullies to catch fire and create a movement to eliminate bullies and bullying of all sorts.  If you have courage and passion you can accomplish much in this world so stand strong against bullies in your organizations and community.  It was Hillel the Elder who said “If not you, who? If not now, when?” and I could not agree more.  With cyber bullying just a click away, your business actually depends on it!

http://www.forbes.com/sites/paigearnoffenn/2012/07/13/beware-of-business-bullies/

Over three days, 10-year-old DeWayne Banks Jr. was called names and beaten up by other kids at school.

Growing up living in Section 8 housing, E.B. “Holiwud” Hunter, now 36, was teased by classmates because of the clothes he wore and the money he didn’t have.

Lawrence Brewton, who hasn’t walked the halls of a high school as a student in almost two decades, candidly admits he was once a bully.

All three gave personal testimonials Friday night before about 100 people at a Stop the Bullying program at the Emmett Scott Recreation Center.

The event, meant to raise awareness about bullying in the community, featured guests who sang inspirational songs, like “I Am Beautiful.” Praise dance and step teams captivated the audience with performances encouraging confidence and self-assurance.

Skin Deep, an improvisational performance group from Winthrop University, delivered several skits showing the negative impact of bullying.

One skit showed a bullied teen committing suicide. The other scenario depicted a teen taking matters into his own hands and arming himself with a gun.

Natasha Jones, who organized the program, said bullying is aggressive, repeated behavior.

Judging from his speech, Brewton was quite familiar with the definition.

Though ashamed of the teen he was, the 35-year-old was able to offer words of wisdom: “If you’re getting bullied, it’s not fair to you; it’s not fair to anybody.”

Growing up, Brewton said, relatives mocked him because he was chubby. The ridicule followed him to school.

Brewton “transformed” in middle school, he said, and became a bully out of rage.

“I would try to pick on people smaller than me,” he said.

Brewton – like most bullies – was ashamed of himself even then, he said.

Chances are, if Brewton went to school with Miliyah Fitts-Prudam, she would have been one of his victims.

The petite 10-year-old Ebenezer Avenue Elementary School student took center stage and boldly admitted that yes, she had been bullied.

“People bully me because of my eyes, and they call me fat when I’m really not,” Miliyah said. “I don’t even ask questions in class because people bully me.”

In the crowd to support her goddaughter, Miliyah, Amina Abdullah, 27, recalled her own experiences with being bullied.

There weren’t many.

Not because kids weren’t cruel, she said, but because she fought back.

“You shouldn’t have to fight everyday at school,” she said.

Jasmine Armstrong, 20, wants kids to know they can talk to their parents if there are problems with peers.

The mother of a 6-month-old said parents also shouldn’t wait until their children are badly hurt before realizing there’s a problem.

“Parents need to ask,” she said.

Bullying no longer wears the face of the mean kid in the sandbox or the jerk that steals lunch money, like it was in the days Juanita Adams was a student.

Adams, 63, attended the event to support her granddaughter, Megan.

Last year, Megan had problems with bullies because of her size, Adams said.

“It’s sad, but it’s good for people to hear” how bullying impacts children, she said.

http://www.wsoctv.com/news/news/local/rock-hill-program-looks-push-back-against-bullying/nLb3P/

Over the past months, we’ve witnessed a number of shocking bullying cases that have led to alarming school violence. What connects these tragic stories is a need for interventions that work, that give young people viable alternatives and a set of concrete skills to resolve conflicts peacefully, build empathy for peers who are different and work together to solve community problems. But equally important is the imperative to call our young people to something higher — to harness their energy, passion, frustration and deep sense of justice in positive ways. As a society, we short-change young people by focusing them on what not to do: “say no to drugs” or “don’t be a bully”. We rarely suggest or celebrate all that they can do to take action and bring about meaningful change. And yet from Damascus to Des Moines we are seeing engaged youth leading with powerful examples of peacemaking.

Issues of bullying, social emotional learning and effective citizenship are receiving unprecedented attention in the media, public policy arena, and the broader cultural conversation. Unfortunately much of that conversation is still centered on young people’s weaknesses. Anti-bullying regulations, zero-tolerance policies, metal detectors and police officers in schools all send the same message: young people are problems to be fixed, risks to be managed. According to a major analysis by the Berkley Media Studies Group, only 1% of news stories about young people are positive. Young people’s daily examples of courageous acts of social justice and peacemaking are seldom told.

For almost two decades throughout 32 states and 23 countries, Peace First (www.peacefirst) has supported transformative programming to teach young people critical peacemaking skills to reduce bullying, learn how to stand up for students being teased, and play a vital role in making their schools and communities safer places to live. Our students have moved beyond anti-bullying to create an alternative model of engagement.

I think of students like Alex, one of our fourth graders who fueled his tough kid image in many ways. Earlier in the year, he was fooling around in the bathroom when James, a small first grader became the unfortunate victim of Alex’s bullying. James returned to his classroom in tears, quite shaken by Alex’s physical and verbal intimidation. His class reacted with compassion and anger. They rallied around their upset classmate, comforting him and sharing their concerns. Then they sprung into action. Through discussions, they agreed to protect each other by accompanying the smallest students to the boy’s bathroom. They would make sure this would not happen to another one of their friends. When Alex came to the class to apologize, the students expressed how angry they were that he hurt James and kept the school from being safe.

Since that day, a new relationship has been built. On his own accord, Alex now volunteers in the
first grade class. Every day during lunch, he gives up time with his friends to assist the first graders and their teacher. His daily deeds have translated into a productive forgiveness. Instead of being the focus of anger, Alex is now welcomed by the class.

The work in this moment is about movement building. How do we change the way adults think about young people? How do you scale a belief in peace? How do we mobilize local coalitions to make peacemaking part of every child’s up-bringing? If we want to drive young people to be engaged, community-level leaders creating healthy neighborhoods and schools, we have to shift the language and image of who young people are and what they can do. It’s not just about anti-bullying, it’s about activism and peacemaking.

Mastering peacemaking is the key skill of the 21st century. It starts with addressing exclusion and bullying by developing courage, compassion and communication, and goes beyond that to engage young people in seeing themselves as agents of social change. In an increasingly connected world, our ability to form healthy and productive relationships, particularly across lines of difference, to care for one another, and to work with others to improve the lives of others has no other parallel. Empathy without action is meaningless. Action without empathy is heartless. Together they are essential.
Please help us start a peacemaking movement to bring our work to students and educators nationwide by donating to: www.peacefirst.org

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/eric-d-dawson/anti-bullying_b_1376429.html